University of Central Florida
extracts from…
On a victim's journey, more than a few bumps
By Naomi Ringer
Alphia Morin is speaking out. It's a decision that will affect
her relationship with her family, but she says she's tired
of lying - tired of saying everything is OK when friends and
family ask how she's doing.
Though she doesn't wear it on a T-shirt and looks like just
another student, her words are blunt and heart-rending. "I'm
Alphia Morin, and I'm a rape victim," she wrote in an e-mail.
Morin said she wants other students to know that they don't
have to be afraid to get help.
That move, coupled with her decision to go public, is an effort
to bring closure to the confusing emotions and consequences
of being a sexual assault victim.
Last fall, she said, another UCF student sexually assaulted
her in his campus apartment. Morin had gone with him to watch
a movie and stayed to spend the night sleeping on his couch,
where she said she was assaulted. She tried to forget and
to push the feelings away, but she couldn't sleep, stopped
going to classes and stayed in her apartment until her roommates
became concerned.
Morin decided to face her accused assailant in person. She'd
passed by him on campus a few times, but the student conduct
hearing was different. Sitting four chairs away from him,
she answered the board's intimate questions and defended her
story when he was allowed to question her.
It was almost unbearable, she said. "Everyone's eyes are on
you, and you feel like they're judging you."
At the hearing, the man denied Morin's charges and said the
sex was consensual, she said.
Yet even now Morin does not know whose version the board believed,
or whether the man was judged to have violated UCF's rules
and punished for it. That's because the Office of Student
Conduct wouldn't tell her its findings unless she first agreed
to sign a confidentiality agreement stating that she would
not discuss the outcome. Morin refused to sign.
Dana Juntunen, assistant director of the office, confirmed
that victims can learn the outcome of a hearing only "after
making a commitment to protect the confidentiality for all
persons involved."
But there was no turning back for Morin - she had taken the
leap and wanted it to count for something, if only to alert
other victims that they're not alone.
Realizing it isn't their fault will help victims find closure,
Morin said. Forgiving themselves is the first step.
For now, Morin looks at a photo of her younger sisters and
resolves to be strong for them. "They really look up to me,"
she says. "They say 'I'm gonna follow Alphia's footsteps.'
I don't want them to run away from their problems."
Because each situation is different, she added, victims should
do what's best for them. "The important thing is that they
don't hide from it. Don't be quiet out of fear."
Read the full article at:
The Central Florida Future
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